Charlie Update: Home at last

It’s amazing how your priorities and expectations can change in a matter of hours.

Last week I went from wanting Charlie to get at least a year of life out of chemo for her cancer.    Then 3 months, when I heard it was a worse cancer than expected, and that it had already metastasized to several more of her abdominal organs.

Then, when Charlie developed post-operative complications right before she was supposed to come home, all I wanted was for her to come home and have at least a few more days with us. That is ALL I wanted.  I couldn’t get the song One More Day out of my head.

They said she’d have to be hospitalized in the ER, so I stopped working and went straight over to see her.

To say I was devastated would be putting it lightly.   The awkward part was when they receptionists stopped me, saying I needed to sign a new estimate and release form for the hospitalization in the ER.  Even though I’m accustomed to the cost of good veterinary care, I still had a moment of “holy crap” when I saw that a 24-hr stay could cost as much as $1600.  For a moment I thought about calling Ryan to see what he thought before I spent the money, but I knew he would be on board.

Speaking of Ryan, he has been nothing but amazing.  I always think of the pets as my responsibility that he got stuck with by way of marriage, but the fact is that he truly loves these pets like his own. (Ok, except maybe for my cat Aretha, because she has never forgiven him for medicating her once 4 years ago.)

So once the awkward financial business was taken care of I got to visit with Charlie and sit in her cage . . . basically staring at her and petting her.   She was back on strong pain medication, and it made her groggy.  But not too groggy to rest her head on my leg.

I was terrified that Charlie might never come home, because with old, sick dogs that does happen sometimes.  So Ryan and I continued to visit her throughout her stay, despite my seeing that the medical chart mentioned “Owner visits for extended periods of time.”   So what if they thought I was a nut job.  I know how horrible a hospital is for humans, and it’s no better for puppies.

At every visit she was more emaciated and her coat was dry and dull and flaking.  She smelled the food I’d cooked for her – salmon, chicken, liver, bison, turkey, egg – and turned away.

It took every ounce of determination to make myself concentrate on sewing up custom orders for Janery on Saturday, and even then I still was distracted and made some mistakes.  Also, I worked at approximately the speed of a slug.  Unfortunately I then had to send some awkward emails to customers.

Fortunately that night she did get to come home.  We were beyond relieved and oh SO HAPPY TO HAVE HER BACK HOME!

We crated her at first to keep her calm and quiet.

We meet with an oncologist this week and will start whatever chemo he recommends, since she is in good spirits and eating and moving well.  Our plan is that, as long as she acts normal and comfortable and happy, we will pursue treatment. But when the day comes that she no longer is happy or comfortable, we won’t force her to keep trying.

The important thing is:  I got my wish.  I got my Charlie home, and I got to cuddle with her.  So every day after this is just icing on the cake.