Although gifts are fun to give and to receive, I worry that every year Americans focus too much on gift-giving rather than on celebrating the season. People drain their savings accounts to provide gifts for friends and family. If I were struggling to make ends meet, I don’t think anyone real friends or family would want me to spend money on a gift for them. Right?
And if I had kids, and money was tight, I’d buy or make them each one gift, and focus more on starting a savings account – because in the end, I’d rather be prepared for an emergency down the road rather than give them an exciting holiday. To me that’s an opportunity to teach them the real reason for the season, and the importance of celebrating and having fun without spending money that isn’t there to be spent.
Also, especially now that the economy is struggling, and so many are unemployed or homeless or otherwise struggling (and charities are receiving fewer donations), I think it’s important to help those in need. Take me and Ryan, for example: We’re doing pretty well, compared to many people. We’ve got savings, we’ve got good jobs, and we have a home filled with clothes and furniture and accessories and food and all sorts of things. There’s nothing we need. And I’m trying not to support companies that do not enforce fair labor conditions in the production of their products.
So I don’t know how this will go over, but today I sent this message to my closest friends and family, the ones who usually give me gifts at this time of year. What do you think?
Friends –
As Christmas approaches I’d like to share a thought and request with you all. I feel blessed to have all of you in my life, you mean so much to me. I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not I should send this message, but decided that you are all close to me, and since you know me you’ll understand where I’m coming from.
Ryan and I are trying to keep things simple in our home, where we feel we are fortunate to have so many “things” already – and as the holidays approach we would like to suggest that, if you were considering giving us a gift, and feel you must spend money – please use the money to help someone else (or a charity) who is not as blessed as we are – or to help yourselves, if money is tight.
We feel strongly that the holiday should be a time of peace, and love, and celebrating the beauty found in winter.
And because I can’t send an only-serious note, here’s my humor:
I promise, someday we will actually be getting married, at which time we will register for things we need and you can spend money as much as your heart desires. 🙂Thank you so much in advance for considering this!
Much love to you all,
Jane (and Ryan)
PS: The same goes for my birthday. 🙂
7 Comments
I asked for zero presents this year too =) former-girl scout’s honor! I did however hint that I would like a honeymoonesque trip with my new husband… b/c that would outlast a gift <3
you go girl!
ps: my first christmas with P when we were dating — we sent ourselves into wild debt trying to create a magical stereotypical xmas and it took a LONG TIME to bounce back! Now i’m watching someone really close to me do the same thing (and then some!) and it’s oh-so painful to watch and not say anything. haha so thanks for letting me vent about it here! phew! =)
xoXOxo
Jen – Magical debt-inducing Christmas? Yep, I’ve been-there-done-that. Sigh. Lessons learned, right? 🙂
We are sort of “skipping” Christmas this year and it’s so much more of a relief than I expected. I genuinely enjoy buying gifts for people, but it’s such a balancing act of wanting to get them something nice, but not too nice that they feel like they’re supposed to overdo it, and still make it thoughtful, etc. etc. that I don’t think I realized how stressed it makes me sometimes. Not having to do all that this year is really nice.
I like the purpose of your note, I hope your friends receive it well 🙂
BIG TIME =) Though I will miss seeing little turquoise tiffany boxes under the tree (*tear*) I for sure don’t need anything in them!
xo
I got a little teary eyed reading your note. I did all of my Christmas shopping in November. Now that planning a wedding is sinking in, I’m thinking this might be the last year of spoiling all the nieces and nephews. It’s so fun, but it really isn’t necessary. They’re more excited to play with my dog than to open presents anyway.
I love this idea. I’ve begged my parents to stop buying gifts for the husband and me, but they refuse. I’ve asked for gifts to charity instead, but they refuse. And they definitely want gifts from me, not gifts to charity in their honor.
As for my own household, we’ve never made a big deal out of Santa, nor have we ever been lavish with gifts. Yes, we buy for our children and each other, but we tend to put our money into experiences, like travel and tickets to shows.