These last 12 days were some of the hardest I’ve ever had.
Seeing my mother hospitalized for pain from a fracture and tumor in her lower spine was so frustrating, because I just wanted her to stop hurting and feel better – and when someone is in intense physical pain there is nothing you can actually do to fix it.
During the 11 days she spent at the hospital, some of the nurses were wonderful, but I must say that I was disappointed in the overall experience. Many of them were impatient with her, and tried to rush her when she was moving in or out of bed. Therefore I felt the need to be in the hospital from morning to night, which made for long days for me and my dad.
Of course, while it was hard for us, I know it was much harder for her – so I’m not complaining. The silver lining to the situation was that I got to see a lot of my brother, his wife, and my niece and nephew. 
On day 11 we got my mom moved out of the hospital and into a new rehab facility that is literally around the corner from my parents’ house. On Friday I spent the day there with her, meeting her nurses, her rehab doctor, physical and occupational therapy, etc. I left feeling so much more comfortable. I couldn’t have left and gone home to DC if she was still in the hospital.
It was hard to get her to go to rehab (that doesn’t sound right, btw) and I know she hated that she felt like we were telling her what to do. But we want her to get better and stronger. Right now she can’t walk without assistance.
By the way, you know what must be incredibly hard? Lying in the hospital for 11 days with such horrible pain that you need help doing anything, when you’re used to being totally independent. I can’t imagine how hard that could be emotionally.
My poor dad, too. He’s going home to an empty house every night, with a very confused cat wondering where everyone is all day long – and I know if it was hard for me it must be harder for him. But he’s holding up like a champ.
Ryan was, of course, amazing throughout all of this too.
It was really nice to get home this weekend. I got a massage on Saturday and on Sunday I cleaned up the yard. 🙂 Sometimes it’s the little things.
If you’ve ever had a parent or family member in rehab, I’d love to hear about your experience.
4 Comments
One thing that’s really important with rehab is staying on top of every little detail and not leave anything to chance. For example, if your mother has dietary requirements, make sure they’re met. Even if she does not have specific needs, track *exactly* what she is fed and when, just in case they’re loading her up on fluffy carbs and/or not giving her enough fresh fruits and vegetables or bringing her meals at odd times (breakfast at, say, 6 a.m., but then no lunch until 1:00, but then dinner at 4:30 or 5:00).
Also, given your mother’s mobility issues, make sure you read all the details regarding support she’ll be getting in rehab. For example, if it is a requirement that two people (not one) will assist her with dressing, bathing, going to the bathroom, make sure your mother knows it and that if ever there’s a time that only one person comes to assist her, that she insists that they wait until there’s another person on hand.
I can talk with you more about this on the phone, if you’d like.
I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this. Watching a loved one suffer is so hard. Sending your mom best wishes for a speedy recovery and peace and rest for all your family. I bet you are all exhausted. Prayers for you. <3
Wow, Jane! What an emotionally and physically challenging time for you. I’m sorry to hear that your mom hasn’t been doing well. It sounds like you were such an amazing support for her! I’m glad to hear you were able to get some rest and a massage to take care of yourself too- that’s so important! Keep us updated on how she’s doing. Thanks for your sweet comment on Evie’s 9 month post too! =)
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