I rarely talk about my fears and insecurities with you guys, but tonight I feel the need to take a chance on it.
After a busy but rewarding day at a veteran-owned small business conference for my day job, I flew to Dallas for the Blissdom conference. I am late for the conference because it actually started this afternoon, but I had to work in the morning because my boss was actually running the veterans conference. I was super appreciative that she let me duck out early to catch a late afternoon flight.
I just arrived at the hotel and got settled into the room. I debated running across the enormous Gaylord Texan hotel to catch the last hour of the opening night events, but at 9 pm Texas time it’s 10 pm DC time, and I’ve been up since before sunrise. I’m exhausted from networking all morning, and I want to be well-rested for the next two days of the conference.
At least that’s what I was telling myself.
The truth is, and I figured this out as I walked up to my hotel room, that I’m nervous about the conference. One thing I didn’t tell you about from the last time I attended was that it was really scary from a social standpoint. Even though I went into it trying to be friendly and outgoing, I found it very hard to talk to people, and felt like everyone around me knew each other and it was very hard to break through as an outsider.
I spent a lot of time feeling like the odd woman out. It was easy to doubt my awesomeness.
The speakers were great, and I had a blast catching up with my blogging friend Katie from Making This Home / Gadanke for the first time IRL, but from a “making new connections” standpoint it wasn’t very rewarding.
So why did I return again this year?
I wanted to give it another try. Now I know what to expect, but I also have a lot more practice attending conferences and talking to strangers, thanks to my day job in small business outreach. Also, Katie has returned again, so it’s an awesome opportunity to see her again.
So until I arrived at the hotel, I was feeling pretty good about this.
But then the taxi pulled up, and the fear and insecurity set in again. I know I’m awesome, but for some reason the whole blogger-conference thing scares the heck out of me. Everyone is tweeting and instagramming with their enormous groups of blogging BFFs. It’s very intimidating.
I wanted to give it another try, so I’m going to. But if any of you have good advice on how to NOT feel like the kid no one wants to sit with at lunch, I’m all ears. 🙂
10 Comments
Omg Jane I totally feel the same way… But I’m doing a little better now. I can’t wait to meet you tomorrow!
I promise you, nearly everyone feels the same way, even so-called “rockstar bloggers.” Blogging conferences are like middle school all over again, with even the most confident and amazing women feeling awkward and insecure.
Since you know that, use it to your advantage. If you see a woman by herself, take a chance and go up and introduce yourself. Ask her questions about her blog. Be fearless, be friendly, be genuine. If someone isn’t friendly, imagine that they are shy or possibly having a bad day for reasons that have nothing to do with you, and go meet someone else.
It will be okay, I promise.
Thanks Jen! I will keep your advice close this weekend.
I felt exactly like that at Haven last year. It was all just so awkward – and I’m never really that awkward? It’s funny, you read things about conferences that everyone feels like that, but I don’t actually believe that’s true. I just think it takes time and some people are more used to walking into a room of people they don’t know. I just started introducing myself to random people and some I hit it off with and some not. For what it’s worth, I’m very impressed that you’re trying again – I think every time you put yourself out there it becomes easier 🙂
Jenn, I never would have guessed you would be awkward! I agree, I think practice helps, so I’m glad I am trying again. Today has been ok so far. Still scary, but have met some cool people. Are you going to Haven this year? I was thinking it would be an easier one because it’s got more people I “know” online.
Oh, I so relate! My first Quilt Market, I think I spent half my time in the bathroom in tears just from the sheer overwhelming nature of it all. Good for you for trying again! My tip? Make it your mission to take care of other people. Ask them how they’re doing. Listen. Be outrageously kind. It takes the focus off of you + makes you instantly likable. It’s harder to break into a whole clique/crowd of people — but when you find someone sitting by themselves or waiting for their friends, cabs, whatever — pretend you’re the ambassador of nice. (Which I think you are, by the way, even without pretending!)
I 100% get what you are saying. The advice a friend gave me that really seems to work for me is to smile. It’s simple but it makes you approachable and literally a friendly face. Hope you are having a good time!
While I haven’t been to any blogging conferences I totally get what you are saying. And as others have said, the best way to stop feeling like the kid no one wants to sit next to is to try and stop seeing the big group busy Instagramming about how much fun they are having together and start seeing those other lonely faces and striking up conversations with them.
Also, if you are naturally an introvert give yourself some down-time at conferences and don’t feel bad about it.
Well-said, Michelle! Thank you! 🙂
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